behind the gate

walking the other evening I chanced upon an open driveway gate and there I found this...I love moments when I get a glimpse of a fairytale image....

twilight in autumn

 the seasons are changing and so does the twilight....

living in the low countries brings with it amazing skies..

First in a new project/series....

Worries - we all have them. They keep us awake at night, can influence our behavior and at times be great motivators. My newest work and "series" is about these thoughts, some of which can be some of our most private inner conversations.

Inspired by a perfect combination of family history ( catholic and jewish family - both known for worrying),a natural forward progression in my work ( having dealt with loss of innocence/ fear of what is in the shadows in No Adults Allowed & safety/ security/ the need to shelter from the outside world in Sleeping Houses ) and an adopted Greek grandmother that collected worry beads; my new body of works are mixed media, ceramic and photographic, "portraits".

Worry beads are something to sooth the soul, to handle while nervous, to give a place for worried energy to go. I decided in dealing with the idea of worries, not only to delve into the concept of worrying but to try and transform the worries I’m dealing with. I’ve asked several people to write down their worries for me, specifically 19 to 21 worries they have, as a strand of worry beads has 19 to 21 beads per strand. With their worries I am creating actual ceramic worry beads- one strand of beads per person- forming the beads with the actual written worry. As the beads are made, the clay must be fired in an oven to transform it into a ceramic bead at which point the written worry is burned up, not able to withstand the heat of the oven.

Depending on how it’s looked at this act of burning the worry either traps the worry in the bead or releases it into the smoke of the fire, both transforming the energy of the worry into another form. These strands of beads are made in a way to be somewhat of a portrait of the writer of the worries, via color, form, decoration and texture and after the strands are completed will be photographed in the hands of the worrier. These photographs, while not exposing the facial identity of the worrier shall be a portrait in full, as hands can sometimes be more descriptive than a persons face.

It is in beginning phases, this project is one that takes time – time and care to create the beads, time to travel and create the photographs; time to find the place to exhibit it as it exists in my head. I hope the journey to the final creation is as transforming as the work itself.

-Tamara

Below are some images of the first strand of worries...

(© Tamara Rafkin 2011 - images and concept)

in rememberance

"prayers at chambers"

"order out of chaos"

"stuck in limbo"

"silence"

  as we are reflecting this week ten years after the assault on NYC and the WTC towers I have been, like so many, recalling my own experience of that day/week/time period.

 the photo studio I worked part time at was not very far from the two towers, so as I was heading to the studio that morning I experienced the event from the street with the others standing below Houston street on west broadway that day - it's the only day in my life I've questioned if my visual nature was a gift.

 Over the days following 9/11 in my own way, as I tried to make sense of the experience and feelings I was having, I found myself re-walking the path I took to work that morning and going further downtown as close to the smoldering towers as I could , camera in hand doing what I do - processing my emotions though the lens of my camera.

 The yellow ribbons of "prayers at chambers" found on the fence at chambers street and the hudson river carrying names of the missing and presumed dead, "order out of chaos' the neat and orderly front of a building  with an american flag a block away from the burning pile of rubble that a few days earlier was the twin towers, "stuck in limbo" the edge of one of the many refrigerated containers lining the west side highway framed by the heavens - waiting for human remains that never came, and "silence" the pay phone booth on the street next to the fallen towers covered in dust from the buildings reminding me of how communication stopped and how quiet the city had become....

 A lot of what I shot is ( as my college professor would say) "more therapy than art" but these four images above, I feel transcended therapy and moved into the realm of art. so, I have over the years since I printed them shown and shared them. I felt it appropriate to share them today and explain the images a bit - something I usually don't do.

 I will always remember that day not just for the tragedy but for the humanity - people helping each other, people coming together, loved ones looking for each other, friends helping friends and stragers helping strangers. Maybe sometime soon we can all remember that day by behaving as New Yorker's did: by lending a helping hand with no questions, checking on people we hardly knew and doing whatever needed to be done to make sure we were all okay.

young love